Is it time to DTR?

If you have ever witnessed the dating habits of the millennial generation than you know the DTR (define the relationship) talk is one of the most dreaded “we need to talk” moments.

There is a lot that leads up to the DTR. You’ve been hanging out for a while, maybe even a few formal dates, you’re having fun, but in the back of your mind you can’t help wondering “where is this relationship going?” Am I just a booty call? Are we friends with benefits? Or is this someone I should introduce to my parents, or even start a pinterest wedding board for? You don’t know where you stand or where the relationship is going till you DTR.

One of my reps came to me this week and said they have been working with a prospect for 2 months. They’ve been through demos, we have scoped the project, gone over pricing, given them references to talk to, invited them to local networking events, but they haven’t committed to signing yet.

I told my rep we need to have the DTR talk.

This prospect has put us through the ringer and we’ve seemingly passed each test with flying colors. But are we marriage material yet, or still in the friendzone? We have been avoiding the tough conversation of where is this relationship going, and finally it’s bubbled up and we need to get it out there.

It’s completely natural to put off these awkward conversations, and we all do it, but the longer you wait the more difficult it will be and the more devastating bad news will be when you’ve started to visualize yourself in a certain outcome. The 2 most common pitfalls I see in positioning the DTR is waiting too long, or asking when the other person is in a vulnerable or defensive state.

You want to approach the topic early and when your prospect is comfortable to give you a real answer and not feel pressured by you or their peers. Coercing someone to say the answer you want to hear does you no good if they have no intention of coming through in the end. Waiting till the questions and doubts in your head have festered at you is also a problem because now you are far too emotionally invested in the outcome to approach the topic rationally.

When it comes to sales and forecasting a deal I would like to add a new qualification stage of the DTR! What are some techniques you have used to DTR with your prospects, and what have been the outcomes?

Kelli Lampkin

Kelli Lampkin is a writer, traveler, comedienne, and entrepreneur.

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